So lately I've been trying to hide my emotion. I've been making almost every decision based solely on what I think, rather than what I feel. I don't even want to let myself feel things because I don't want to get hurt. I think that's why. I have been trying to completely control my life and haven't been giving everything over to God. I want to, but its so hard. I sometimes think that if I think everything through I will be able to always make the decisions that will lead me to the place where I want to be in my life. The problem with this is that I don't know where I'm supposed to be in my life. I don't know what God has planned for me. I want what he has for me, but my decisions are based on what I want for myself. If I continue the way I have been I'll never get there.
I think this might be part of the reason its been so hard for me to pray lately. When I pray, I'm giving God control and taking it out of my own hands. This is scary for me. He's given me the opportunity to have no more worries because He is in control. I dont need to be afraid or try to protect myself by hiding my emotions because He is my protector.
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? - Psalm 27:1
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