I guess its been a while since I posted. I normally feel like I have so much to say. For the past few months I've been really excited about my faith and I've wanted to talk about it perhaps more than ever before. But last night I found myself in a different place. Last night, at M&M during the 2nd worship song I realized that the past 2 or 3 weeks have been different.
I've been slowly falling away from God, slowly returning to my old habits. I've been apathetic, selfish, unloving. I'm not trying to say that before I had overcome these things, but at least I had been allowing God to work in my life and then I just stopped. If I've behaved this way toward any of you who are reading this, I'm sorry. I haven't felt as far away from God as I felt last night probably since before the school year started. I haven't been reading the Bible and I seem to have let go of the desire I had so recently to be closer to God and to live my life to serve Him.
I've been in this place so many times before. Its me who has moved away from Him and not the other way around, but every time I return to this state I find it so hard to get back. Now I'm just sort of longing...not necessarily even to be closer to God but to long to be closer to God. I want the desire back, but I find it so difficult to pray right now. If you're reading this, please pray for me. I could really use it.
No comments:
Post a Comment