I spent a lot of today outdoors. The weather was beautiful. Sprinkles of rain came occasionally, but nothing unpleasant. I've been having a difficult time appreciating God lately. I wonder if the good things that are happening to me are God's blessings on me or mere coincidence. I have a hard time thanking God because I analyze everything and tell myself that God isnt necessarily involved in whatever good I'm experiencing. But when I do this, I'm wrong.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17
So I've determined that another reason I have difficulty praying is that I have a hard time realizing God's love for me. I dont doubt that He loves me, I just have a hard time seeing it in the little things. I was sitting outside on a bench today when I prayed about this. I prayed that God would reveal His love to me through even the things that I usually deem coincidental or meaningless. When I prayed I didnt really "feel" anything emotionally, but as I sat there silently, I felt the wind against my face and it was the most beautiful feeling I've experienced in a long time.
God has given me so much. I know this in my head, but its not always easy for me to know it in my heart. I know He loves me because the Bible tells me He does and because it is made evident in His creation. There is no reason for me to doubt this. Every good and perfect gift is from above. When I smile or laugh or feel good I need to rejoice because God loves me and has given me these things. There are so many reasons to be thankful I couldnt count them all up if I spent the rest of my life trying to. They arent coincidental; God has put them here because He loves us.
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