My Real Need is to be Broken (from previous blog)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. - James 1:2-5 

So right now my life is going just wonderfully. I'm in a constant (or near constant) state of superficial happines. But I'm not content. I want more than to be happy. For once I want to do something meaningul without a selfish motivation. I want to grow spiritually. I want patience. I want to face trials so severe that the only way I can possibly get through them is by looking to God. I want to be reminded of just how much I need Him. I dont want simply to be happy. I want joy. I want to experience joy even in the worst of situations. I want my faith to be so strong that even in the midst of pain and suffering I can have joy in knowing that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. 

I've been wondering lately if there's a reason I havent been faced with any trials recently. Is my faith too weak? Am I such a lukewarm Christian that Satan doesnt even consider me a threat? This isnt what I want. I want to be broken and rebuilt by the gentle hands of the Creator. 

In the words of Sonicflood: 

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for

Brokenness is what I need
Brokenness, brokenness is what
You want from me 

So, take my heart and form it

Take my mind transform it
Take my will conform it
To Yours, to Yours, oh, Lord 

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalm 139:23,24